So….I’ve been on my new job for almost 90 days and have less than 50 credits left before I graduate college. Everything around me has been fast paced, but also boring at the same time. I was talking to a guy friend of mine the other night on about how the Army was so fast paced, but now I feel like my life is dragging. I need more spontateity and excitement (but I’m not going back in the Army —– that’s for sure). Road trip?!?!?!
Also, as you know, I’ve been on the Celibacy Journey, and its been a year, which is pretty exciting, but also devastating. My decision to go celibate was due to my divorce and all the bs drama with dating and friends with benefits. That “benefit” is non-existent in 2014 & 2015, so I had to make some decisions for my well-being, sanity, and heart.
My hormones have been going crazy (I guess weekend episodes of Gigolos does not help) and I feel like I really can’t do much about it! Celibacy reminds me of a gigantic triumph, but at the same time….SEX WOULD BE SO AWESOME!!! I swear to God that for the last few months, I though about escorts and companionship. It does not have to be all about sex, but I believe money is power. With that, you can control how situations should be. Plus, I think it’s awesome to be like, “I paid for that.” : )
You would think that I’m on an Air Force Base and would have a date or something….yeah right?!?! I have 0 game on base. I check out military guys + contractors staring at my boobs and butt when I walk around, but no one has the balls to ask for my number or take me out on a date. So….I decided to do…..(Drum roll)…..ONLINE DATING!!!!
My first online dating encounter was in 2005 (right before I joined the Army). I met this guy named *Steve. He was a radio host in New Mexico, graduated with his Journalism degree, Christian, and adventurous. He enjoyed Skydiving, swimming etc. We talk online first, which leads to the phone, and lastly, he wants to fly out to California for a visit. I’m all ecstatic and make sure my hair and nails are all “did” for the “big” day.
I met *Steve during 4th of July weekend and it was a bummer! OMG! He was really pale and fat (I have nothing against white guys, but can you get a tan?!?!)!!! Not so much fat, but you can tell he has not been in the gym for a minute. He was also cheap, which means we did not go anywhere to eat or to get away from the house. My mom and I slaved in the kitchen for him to eat a nice meal. Lastly, when he realized I was not feeling him “that way”, his “f” buddy called him and he made sure the phone was on speaker so I could here her. Finally, when my Dad got into it about religious topics, I was done and ready for him to get back on that plane.
He later e-mailed me and said I was beautiful and come from a good home, but too independent for him. I need to be more….humble. WOW! It’s funny cause I’ve heard that a million times since 2005 and it’s very unfortunate that men feel this way. What happened to a man wanting a woman with ambition; his equal?
Back to the online dating thing….it’s kind of slow in my opinion. I have some guys pop up for awhile and fade or the occasional passerby’s. They say they are looking for something real, but it’s a joke. Some guys though are really cool to talk to and all. Lastly, I’ve had the weirdos that ask, “What kind of panties are you wearing?” or “I’m about to jack off. What are you doing?” Really….WTF?!? I definitely feel like I’m in the HUNGER GAMES.
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