“You said hello to me I said hello to you You ask me where I’m from I asked you what you do You some how intrigued me I thought you were so cool Somewhere between hi and goodbye I felt so comfortable I felt like we could talk all night So i gave my number to you” – Yes, Beyonce’ *I do not own rights to this music, lyrics, etc.
So…one would think relationship or something blossoming would start like this. Well, it should but it doesn’t happen like that. Even though I’m celibate, I would eventually like to build on something and be with someone worthy of me. As you all know, I have been on my online dating journey for a few months. For the most part, I’m consumed with work and school. I don’t have random dudes approaching me at the grocery store or on base, so I though online dating would be simple right? YEAH RIGHT!
For the most part, I am a woman of class and ambition. I guess most of these dudes are used to trash or ratchets, so they approach me as such. smh….
Not does only quality cost money, but it cost time, sacrifice, and more. That is what I’m looking for…QUALITY! So, I would like to put on BLAST all of my awkward online dating moments…..HERE WE GO!!
MR. HIT & MISS Random Guy: Hey! – 10:37am Me: Hi! – 12:37pm (2 hour delay due to home improvements) 12 hours later on a weekend…. Random Guy 1: Hey – 11:08pm Me: Hi! Whatsup with texting so late? – 11:08pm Random Guy 1: My bad, I sent that text hours ago. – 11:09pm Me: Really? I never got it – 11:09pm Random Guy 1: SILENCE – No response – 11:10pm and beyond…. E=MC Lies & B.S.
For ONE….I hate late night texts. You can hear my voice and call. Also, I have to wonder if you are involved with someone due to the fact that I only hear from you at night time. Most guys that text really late (i.e. 10pm and beyond) are horn dogs looking for a “cum dumpster” or have been playing the good boyfriend/husband role most of the day. And now you want to talk around midnight or a week later? I’ll pass….
JAILBIRD CLOWN Random Guy 2: Hey! – Look sweetheart I have to be honest with you….Currently I’m incarcerated but I get out soon. I hope you don’t judge me. Hope I can continue to get to know you. Me: I don’t judge by no means, but I don’t think I want to pursue this. Random Guy 2: Well I come home in November. I think if you get to know me more, you will see that was a mistake I will never make again. Me: Question though….why would you have a OK Cupid page and you are locked up? Not trying to be rude or offensive by no means, but I would wait to pursue someone after I’m out. Random Guy 2: SILENCE – No response…
Ok, another synopsis. I dated a jail bird back in 2008 and it was a nightmare. He stalked me after we broke up, threatened to kill me, major pot head/drug dealer, and always complained about how he couldn’t get a job because he had a felony. I don’t want to hear the garbage or deal with it. I’m not waiting for no jail bird!
SUPER FREAK Me: Congrats on almost being done with Nursing school! Random Guy 3: Hey thank you! Me: You are welcome! I have one more year of college so I feel your struggle. Random Guy 3: What’s your major? Me: Human Resources Management Random Guy 3: Nice good choice, what are you doing? Me: Just got home from my parents house. Just chilling. Random Guy 3: Lol. I’m in bed trying to jack off before I pass out. lol.
Me: SILENCE…..LOG OUT!
Enough said with this b.s. scenario. Late night freak. Just cause you feel that way, don’t mean I do. Why does a convo about nursing school & HR make you horny?
TASTE THE RAINBOW!!!!
Random Guy 4: how u doing sweetheart Me: I’m good & you? Random Guy 3: cant complain. u look very sexy in ur pix,if u dont mind me saying Me: Thank you! Random Guy 3: no prob,i meant it. so u into bisexual guys by any chance? Me: Not really. Random Guy 3: oh ok. well its really nothing serious for me,just to let u know. i like females much more. only turned bi a couple of years ago,used to be str8. But other than that,im all about females. honestly,if i had a wifey as beautiful as you,id never even look at another guy again,no bs. its not like its something i cant live without.
SSSSOOOOO……I’m all for whatever floats people’s boat, but…..I’m not getting with a dude that pumps cakes then wants to stick it in me. I’m sorry….
I’m scrolling through my phone to find the crazy message that sounded like a Zane book….lmao! But…I can’t find it…
Lastly,
MR. LET THEM DOWN SLOWLY
Random Guy #5: Message #1 – first of alll, trying to generate a random conversation with a stranger in person is tough, let alone via online especially a dating site. I read your profile and would love to get to know you more here’s a random fact about me; I love to surf and being active, anything outside fishing running cycling also I help out with the children’s ministry at my church. I help with the puppet ministry and I volunteer with the homeless when I can. I work in the financial services industry. I help middle-income families save money and get out of debt. Mutual funds 401ks annuities educational funds things like that I truly love helping people. I also work part time for the school district in the special ed department as a special ed. one-on-one student aide. I would love to know how your weekend went hope you are having a great week.
P.s. By the way I think you’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen
Me: Thank you for your reply. You seem like a well-rounded gentleman. I like a lot of the qualities that you possess. As for me, I’m a Human Resources Manager for a Retail store and graduate from college this year or next year. I plan on going for my Master’s right after. Most of the time I’m working or going to school, but I enjoy getting out. I like beaches, art, traveling and more. I go to Vegas, or L.A. from time to time to get away from the busy hustle of my life. I go to church every Sunday — actually my father is a pastor, so I’m pretty active in my church. I look forward to speaking with you soon and maybe some phone conversations.
Random Guy #5: Hey You 🙂 sorry about the late response I’ve had a lot of catching up to do at work plus some family stuff going on I just wanted to see I didn’t forget about you and I hope you have a great day maybe I could give you a call sometime.
Ok….so…Latino guy, Christian, works in finance…PERFECT right? Well….he sent this message April 15th. Can you tell me what day it is today? I doubt if he died, but really? It’s been over 30 days….on to the next. You win some, you lose some right?
So, online dating feels like a battlefield. It’s shady and not stable. At the end of the day, even if I don’t find true love on here, which I probably won’t, I will have a man worthy of my love, affection, and embraces quality. On the other end, I will continue to have standards. I know what I deserve and I deserve the best!
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