"Where is my John Wayne? Where is my prairie song? Where is my happy ending ? Where have all the cowboys gone?"
~ Paula Cole
I was in junior high when this song came out (Bloop...I told my age somewhat), but this song makes perfect sense with the days and times we face with "dusties" and "Hoteps" wanting to be "big boys." I do not have time for "Pig Pen" (from the Peanuts Gang) or a little boy, I need a man that will protect and provide.
A lot of men hide behind religion or spirituality and use it as an excuse to continue their bs. They state, "God has called me to minister, so I don't need to work." Or they state, "The Bible condones polygamy, so I want 5+ wives", but make Chik-fil-A salary. So......who is going to take care of me (monogamy and polygamy are man-made ideologies, best believe)?
I want to say that I am so sorry or apologetic for the men that did not grow up with proper fathers or training to be the men that they need to be, but guess what???.....you are grown now and it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to figure out how to be a better man.
I had to teach a 19 year old boy how to jump a car one time and I was appalled. My father and the U.S. Army taught me a bit about cars, but I was really shocked to see this young man had no clue how to jump a car. I loved his effort though trying to position his car to match mine's for the jump. I told him, "Now that you know a new skill, use it to be chivalrous."
Ladies...just saying "NO" to a dusty and his ways can convert him to being a better man for you or for someone else. But as long as we compromise and agree to the mess they have to offer, they will continue to live and function the same way that always worked for them -- SURVIVAL.
How to identify a "dusty":
1. They are enamored about you having such a "good heart."
I had a man tell me once, "God created you to have a good heart." Or, the other one, "You have a heart of gold." These types of men will play you. Yes, I can be a good woman, but I do NOT always have to be nice. Some people deserve "no" or to get cussed out. Seriously! Men or grimey people in general think "good heart = perfect target". So learn NOW how to have boundaries and standards.
2. "Rie or Die" Chick is cannonized.
Black Saint Laurentana, 19th Century
It is nothing wrong being supportive to a man, but in what way? If he has nothing and you have everything to give, you are WRONG! Not only will you be wrong, you will be sitting in a pool of your on tears while he skates off with someone new. It is not a badge of honor or "Purple Heart" to be a casualty of love or have the "ride or die" chick syndrome. There are plenty of women serving moderate to extreme prison sentences for a man they would ride and die for while he won't send a letter or call her. I bet if it was the other way around, he would want money on the books or letters. Funny how that works right? I'm too cute to go to prison. Welp!
3. The "Gas Up"
"Dusties" do not just come from the ghetto/hood. They come from the military, church, etc. If they are already calling you "sweetie", "baby", making promises but not doing anything for you, that's a problem.
True story, I had a guy offer to take me out and I accepted to see where his head was at. He stated that he wanted to take me to a certain spot, so I asked again after I got off work to clarify. He switched it up and said, "I'm going to your house and you are going to cook me dinner." EXCUSE ME, WHAT? I said, "I don't even know you like that. I prefer a place." He said, "Say no more, but I need you to pick me up." I THINK THE F*** NOT! When I met him, he had a car and all of that. It was probably a female's car. I declined and told him, "Have a good night. I do not want to go out." He said, "Can we hang out another time?" I said, "I'd rather not."
In conclusion, learning how to have boundaries, possessing intuition, and having the right people in your life are all about strategy and paying attention. It is vital to possess the right skills to maintain positivity and joy in your life. There are real energy demons and vampires out here in the form of people, and they can hurt you if you aren't being wise. Stay dust free ya'll!
I would love to hear your comments, stories, and thoughts regarding this topic. : )
P.S...Don't be this guy...
Godspeed!
Love,
Porsha
IG: Porsha_Roxanne_Foxx
Facebook: Porsha Foxx
REFERENCES:
Monogoamy vs. Pologamy - Both Man Made - Doelow da Pilotmanhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=se9MnsRYtrs
48 Laws of Power by Shera Seven - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-84PoB5BZYU&t=3298s
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